Awful Jokes 

Have a laugh - or even a groan!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ... bonk!

That's a man laughing his head off.

What an awful joke but life's not always that funny. Take my wife ... please! I said that to my next door neighbour and now they've run off together ... and I don't half miss him.

That's not true, of course, I'm happily married. Well that's what my wife tells me!

Anyway, it seems that a survey has discovered that the more awful jokes and gags are the more we like them. One in four of us will giggle away at even the most cringe worthy punch lines. It's also true though that 73.2% of statistics are made up.

Okay, what we have on this lens are jokes, but some of them are pretty awful. What makes them so painfully funny? It must be the punch lines!

But first, before you exercise your chuckle muscles, a note of caution: If you find any of the jokes on this lens offensive or unsettling in any way ... tough!

 

awful jokes

What do you get when you cross roast pork with a telephone?
Crackling on the line.

Our baby was christened 'Glug Glug'. The vicar fell in the font.

Little Sammy came running into the house and asked, "Mummy, can little girls have babies?"
"No," said his mother, "Of course not."
Little Sammy then ran back outside and his mother heard him shout out to his friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Tex.
Tex who?
Tex you ages to open the door.

Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptised one and kept the other as a control.

A bad football team is like an old bra - no cups and little support.

"Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pack of cards."
"I'll deal with you later."

Why did the king go to the dentist?
To get his teeth crowned.

Honolulu: It's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for thre wife, sharks for the wife's mother ..."

This man tells the doctor, "Every time I sneeze I feel very sexy." The doctor asks, "What do you take?" "Pepper," the man answers.

I haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.

Two monkeys were getting into the bath. One said, "Oo, oo, oo, aah, aah aah."
The other replied, "Well put some cold in it then."